recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
