Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
