You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
