You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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