Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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