Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
