He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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