hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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