Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
