she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
