D3 body, D1 cock
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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