Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
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I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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