Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
