I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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