wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
