I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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