We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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