Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
