My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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