Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
