fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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