So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
