i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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