Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
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No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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