I think my fart just growled at me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize