ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
