I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Less talking, more tequila
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
