I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
