i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
