$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
