never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize