I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize