Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize