We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
