there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
