I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
