does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
