Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook http://tfl.nu/fiya

Replies (4) Good night (823) Bad night (1322)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

(360): View more from Washington

I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve

Replies (92) Good night (4863) Bad night (1101)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass http://tfl.nu/kwec

Replies (24) Good night (1557) Bad night (5344)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes http://tfl.nu/55qw

Replies (22) Good night (2370) Bad night (4535)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on http://tfl.nu/bnty

Replies (17) Good night (10525) Bad night (1275)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect? http://tfl.nu/gdtt

Replies (11) Good night (2997) Bad night (852)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo http://tfl.nu/0kme

Replies (10) Good night (3490) Bad night (1467)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/3jpq

Replies (4) Good night (1861) Bad night (840)
Favorite
(216): View more from Ohio

I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(216): I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely" http://tfl.nu/sd7p

Replies (27) Good night (1445) Bad night (3675)
Favorite
(224): View more from Illinois

My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.

(312): View more from Illinois

Elaborate

(224): View more from Illinois

Strip Mario-Kart

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(224): My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream. (312): Elaborate (224): Strip Mario-Kart http://tfl.nu/xw36

Replies (11) Good night (2836) Bad night (853)
Favorite
(+27): View more from South Africa

I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+27): I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me. http://tfl.nu/p5fs

Replies (13) Good night (596) Bad night (1056)
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour http://tfl.nu/nua1

Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (503)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot. http://tfl.nu/64ct

Replies (14) Good night (2615) Bad night (792)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico http://tfl.nu/dzp9

Replies (3) Good night (543) Bad night (183)
Favorite
(587): View more from Alberta

Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(587): Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level... http://tfl.nu/ep5w

Replies (0) Good night (168) Bad night (228)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard