Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.

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  (717): this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success. http://tfl.nu/z2ja
  Replies (21) Good night (9916) Bad night (1770)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...

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  (208): this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer... http://tfl.nu/pqdq
  Replies (16) Good night (1109) Bad night (3186)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.

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  (774): So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish. http://tfl.nu/ywfu
  Replies (62) Good night (5589) Bad night (803)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.

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  (305): absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me. http://tfl.nu/yste
  Replies (8) Good night (891) Bad night (3857)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.

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  (919): So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee. http://tfl.nu/sup3
  Replies (16) Good night (4941) Bad night (1172)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...

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  (561): Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/snfb
  Replies (23) Good night (1338) Bad night (4569)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".

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  (815): I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock". http://tfl.nu/fz13
  Replies (25) Good night (5029) Bad night (1252)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes

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  (208): No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes http://tfl.nu/t8pf
  Replies (7) Good night (1153) Bad night (2754)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.

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  (804): he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself. http://tfl.nu/dcvq
  Replies (1) Good night (1108) Bad night (662)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  At least you have booty calls.

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china

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  (901): At least you have booty calls. (1-901): True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china http://tfl.nu/6dg2
  Replies (7) Good night (1556) Bad night (575)
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  (310): View more from California

  Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.

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  (310): Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack. http://tfl.nu/hyp4
  Replies (7) Good night (671) Bad night (1417)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose

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  (817): Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose http://tfl.nu/bx5q
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (852)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night

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  (601): I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night http://tfl.nu/iazm
  Replies (3) Good night (914) Bad night (466)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."

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  (361): u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.." http://tfl.nu/49fj
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (236)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?

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  (347): Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride? http://tfl.nu/ahd3
  Replies (3) Good night (286) Bad night (368)

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