Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.