grinding to god bless the USA? really?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.