Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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