It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
