omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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