I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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