i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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