If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
