I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
