I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize