i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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