we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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