ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
