WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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