North Korea, Best Korea!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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