We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
