You're completely useless in the revolution.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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