So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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