he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
