She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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