my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
