Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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