we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
