The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize