what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
