She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
