after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
